Better relationships start with you.
"I’m at complete peace with the issue that I thought was literally impossible to handle unless someone else changed…"
- Julia
The quality of our lives and the culture of our relationships is created by what we say and don't say, what we do and don't do, and how we identify - see ourselves and each other.
Hi, my name is Brian
I've been a communication and relationship coach, consultant, workshop facilitator and intuitive empathic healer since 2016 to highly ambitious, self-reflective and self-aware empaths, caregivers and leaders - people who serve others.
Working with professionals of all kinds from moms and doulas, to vice presidents, teachers, cybersecurity engineers, general managers, coaches and more - I've been privy to the secret yet universal challenges we all share.
I work with individuals and couples of all ages specializing in relationships and communication including trauma, boundaries, codependency, consent, conflict resolution, leadership, and emotional intelligence.
"For the first time, I felt I was given something that I didn’t even know that I needed. Now I see myself as a completely different person. I’m proud of myself that I could become who I am now with Brian's help."
- Justin
As children, we learn to be hyper-attuned to others, to people please, to protect ourselves.
As adults, we end up not feeling like ourselves or like something's missing because we're stuck operating from childhood self-protective adaptions. Everything that got you to where you are today is now exactly what's holding you back.
A blend of coaching & therapies
With laughter and lightheartedness, or whatever the moment calls for, I guide clients to places within themselves that are hard to get to on their own. Honest and humble self-exploration allows you to uncover unconscious patterns, integrate unprocessed emotions/trauma and resolve your past so that you can live an even more free, connected and authentic life. Read some testimonials to get a sense of what might be possible for you.
I intuitively integrate elements of coaching and many therapies that support clients to access new depths of themselves, transcend perceived obstacles and open up possibilities that didn't exist minutes before:
Family Systems Therapy by Ricard Schwartz PhD., Compassionate Inquiry by Gabor Mate PhD., Narrative Therapy, NeuroAffective Relational Model for trauma by Laurence Heller PhD. and Brad J. Kramer LMFT., Imago Therapy by Harville Hendrix PhD., Person-Centered Therapy by Carl Rogers, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenburg PhD., Somatic Experiencing by Peter Levine PhD., Focusing by Eugene Gendlin, The Completion Process by Teal Swan, Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy by Stan Tatkin PsyD, MFT., Emotion Focused Therapy by Sue Johnson PhD., Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton PhD., Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, The Presence Process emotional integration by Michael Brown, research on vulnerability shame, and courage by Brene Brown PhD. LMSW, Expressive Writing, and the spiritual teachings of Thomas Hubl (healing collective trauma), Byron Katie (The Work), Adyashanti, Mooji and more.
"My conversations with Brian never cease to amaze me. It’s like I'm in the forest with no path forward; only a wall of trees, an impasse. As we walk together the trees begin to step aside and the path magically appears. The way forward becomes clear and obvious."
- Brent
Client Testimonials
Due to the very personal and varied nature of my work with people, it's been a gift to receive testimonials from clients to help shine light on what's possible for others.
"There's something I've found inside of me that I can rely on no matter what; connection with life, love, me."
- Guna
"Working with Brian has opened my heart. I felt my innocence again. I started to play, have fun, joke, laugh and express myself again. "
- Sarah
"I was stuck thinking, 'I won’t feel better about this until something external shifts… until this person changes… validates me, sees me, or understands me.' But now I’m at complete peace with the issue that I thought was literally impossible to handle unless someone else changed… I was able to go to the place of biggest fear within me, the thing that I thought I could never handle, or never do, or never accept, or never conquer… I came to Brian at a time of diving deep into my first ever experience of acknowledging that I was in a codependent relationship and acting in codependent ways. I felt very stuck in suffering, stuck trying to fix how I felt by having the outside world change. Having had enough unsuccessful attempts at trying to alleviate my pain by trying to control my outside world, I came to Brian finally willing to face it. It felt very very empowering. I felt very strong to notice that I handled something that I didn’t think I ever could. And in that breakthrough realization, there was a profound peace that came with it because I was no longer in denial, no longer shoving it down, no longer trying to frantically wish it away, push it away, explain it away, force it away… that frantic, panicked feeling… I’ve landed finally in a place of unconditional love for my situation and peace no matter the outcome. Brian guided me to find my 'truer truths'... I actually had never experienced this. I had never experienced replacing a story I was telling myself that created suffering, with a new story that actually fits better. It brought sooo much peace without anything outside of me having to change. I had no idea you could actually come out with a completely different perspective that I thought would be completely impossible to hold, and it can shift everything from the inside out… Wow. With eyes finally wide open to my situation I finally had choices in a situation where I didn’t feel I had choice before, and that’s incredible. I feel very very very proud of myself. I feel like Brian has a knowing that’s very rare. I don’t know if he hears it, or sees it, or picks up on it, or he pays so close attention, I don’t know how… but he can almost know where you’re at before you’re even consciously aware yourself, what might be your pain point, what might be your suffering point, what might be your discovery. And it oddly doesn’t feel threatening or scary that someone could be there before you because he makes it safe still. The listening, the true understanding, the attentiveness, the incredible spaceholding, and just that feeling of safety, like you're being held and cared for allows you to go to wherever you need to go to free yourself, find peace and resolve your suffering once and for all. I’ve seen many other healers and therapists, Brian is a healer. Brian has a magical ability to bring true healing to what you’re living, while also making you feel empowered and that you are in charge. His intuition and where he could guide you might not be what you think you need or what you’ve been getting support for, but if you trust the process, I have no doubt you’ll get to the root of whatever you come to him for." - Julia
"I was tormented by anger, judgment and sadness about the sudden and unexpected ending of a relationship. For months, I had an internal monologue that kept my heart closed and contracted. Shortly after outlining a very brief story of the situation and my dilemma, Brian brought awareness to something very simple that I had overlooked. It was an ‘oh my god, I’ve never seen it like that before!’ flash. That was the quick release from entrapment I would say that helped me to shift and expand. The rest of the session was spent clarifying that perspective. To this day, months after the session, it still has a potent way of rooting into the rest of my life. Since then, I’ve been integrating, stabilizing and shifting on multidimensional levels in ways that are hard to put into words. I think that the magic with Brian is attunement, his ability to sense where we are trapped, and point to the closest exit so we can walk out into total freedom. The ‘aha’ moment came about quite fast. He didn’t spend much time being lost in details of the storyline. He has a way of seeing and sensing the whole picture very quickly, like a detective but with deep calmness. His gift lies in this incredible ability to scan the scene and detect contraction, distortion and resistance and point it out so that we can breathe there together and make space to let go into a new way of seeing that feels more expansive. Originally I thought, “How could someone really help me with this problem?” I thought I’d looked at it from all of the angles, but I was focused in the wrong place and realized we’re actually not meant to see everything. So if anyone out there is feeling stuck in any area of life, I highly recommend working with Brian. A session with him feels like a close friend lending a compassionate ear and then bringing awareness to the obvious / not-so-obvious! He is very intuitive, empathic, and skillful at pointing out what we are not seeing or unaware of in a very gentle, compassionate and loving way. By the end of the session I went from emotional turmoil to feeling like a breath of fresh air in a beautiful vista with the sun shining on me. It was like coming back home to the safety and comfort of what has always been here. " - Zu
"Working with Brian these past couple of years has lead me to thriving in so many parts of my life and relationships, he deserves enormous praise and recognition. His abilities for holding space to breathe and process, while untangling complex challenges and bringing awareness to our wounded parts in need of healing, are unmatched. Most importantly, thanks to Brian's intuitive and gentle approach I was able to find the clear path to a healthy and fulfilling relationship with my own myself, finally free from codependency. I would encourage anyone seeking guidance, fulfillment and personal growth to connect with this remarkable human. Thank you so much, Brian!" - France
"I acknowledged sides of me that I thought died in childhood. I felt a sense of compassion towards the parts of me that I had been neglecting. Brian facilitated my journey, helping me to reconnect with sides of myself that I thought were lost. I was able to consciously form connections that I didn't see before. Random coincidences were no longer random from this alternative point of view. Other forms of therapy may not get you what you need on an energetic or spiritual level, but these are integral parts of Brian’s practice. Talking to Brian is like going back home - the soul feels soothed and accepted. Expect the unexpected. Approach each session as an opportunity to pull apart current expectations and assumptions you have about yourself, others, and the world then flip them on their head." - Amanda
“When I came to Brian I was full of stories about why my life was one of suffering and pain. There was a deep inner knowing that I was whole and capable of anything, yet for reasons consciously unknown, I was experiencing extreme discomfort and my reality was very different from what I dreamed of. I’ve done beautiful work with Brian that shined light into the subtle depths of my strength. He helped me access aspects of myself that I would normally turn away from because I was scared. Brian is the embodiment of authenticity. He meets you exactly where you are, and will go with you as far as you’re willing to go within yourself. He does this with laughter and fun, and seriousness when it is called. I highly recommend working with him.” - Sarah
"When I met Brian I was dealing with numerous challenges in my personal relationships with all the important people in my life, from my own parents and young children to my husband and his family. I felt alone and carried a lot of guilt. Through some brutally honest conversations Brian guided me to many realizations on my own, such as that: I am not responsible for anyone's feelings, actions and decisions, but my own; that being kind and happy is a choice. Things were not easy for me, but with Brian's gentle guidance, I now feel free, fulfilled and loved, and I choose to be happy!" - Zoia
"Brian provided me with what felt like emotional CPR for my relationship distress. In a gentle, direct and compassionate manner, he helped me quickly get to the root of my issues, and completely released my feelings of overwhelm and anxiety. Session after session we worked through layers of blocks and conditioning, it was like he knew where to pause me and slow me down so I could cry and release. Thanks to this work, I'm less shy, more light and way more confident to stand my ground in the world." - Stephanie
"When I came to Brian I felt boundary illiterate. I was struggling with communicating or formulating boundaries, and I was also feeling insecure. I felt guilt and fear in expressing what I truly desired in life and dreaded what the person was going to say. I often felt attached to the outcome or the person's answer and thought that it was attached to my worth. I was a chronic people pleaser and would often commit to yes, without even thinking about the request. I never would stop to check in with myself and feel my body and what it was feeling. Looking at these habits I had been walking through life with was not easy! It was uncomfortable and having someone who helped navigate me through this work was groundbreaking. I struggled to ask for help, thinking I had to do everything on my own. Doing this work with Brian helped me realize I don’t have to and it made the uncomfortable more comfortable. I’ve been able to face so many of the traits, behaviours and patterns that I was previously unaware of or scared to look at. Doing coaching with Brian in workshops and one-on-one, helped me to trust myself, and be secure in who I am. It has been one of the best investments I have made in myself! Now I can feel in my body what a 'yes' is and what a 'no' is. I learned to ask for what I want and I am not attached to the outcome of what the other person says. I learned that saying no is such a gift, not only for me but for others. I learned that my worthiness comes from simply just existing and being human. I understand codependency and how disempowering these behaviours and habits are. I learned to break up with the co-dependent relationship I had with myself. I learned I am worthy despite whether others like me or not. I learned to include me in situations or conversations and dare to know that despite how it’s received, I still have got me. Honestly having a coach helped me to be witnessed, seen and heard in my vulnerability. Brian held space for me to unravel why I had come to the situation I was in and helped me formulate courage to approach challenging situations differently. I love that he was able to let me see the parts of me that were no longer serving me, and not shame or hate those parts. That they were okay too. What I want other women to know about Brian’s work around boundaries, consent, communication and codependency and relationships is that it’s safe to come home to your body, and doing this work helps build trust in the self again, it helps take accountability for our roles in the choices we have made, and how to course correct. That is empowering, when we can learn to express, communicate and feel into our bodies and take space. To know that change is possible, and it starts with me, and that I can have the permission to lead a life I love. To have deep connections and relationships where I feel seen, heard, and respected. I feel everyone deserves that, it is hard when you feel stuck in the body, when I felt like I couldn’t find the words, and be paralyzed by fear it’s not a fun way to move through life. Doing this work is liberating and allows the freedom to live a fulfilling life, where the fear is still there and that is ok, but having tools to confront it is life-giving!" - Brianne
"I came to Brian with a lack of trust in my partner and wasn’t sure if I should stay or go. Our sessions evolved from there with unexpected realizations (like learning what I deserve in relationship with a man!) and emotional processing that helped me move on. Brian provided me with a safe space to connect with my desires, my center, my power, my truth... At first it was really difficult for me to ask for what I wanted. But then I discovered how to ask for what I REALLY want and found that respecting my boundaries is very HOT and sexy! And it feels marvellous to obtain what I want and even more! I got to experience for the first time what trusting a man actually FEELS like. I had no idea before, but I’m grateful I have something to aim for now. The way Brian put words to my experience every session was very transformative. It’s hard to describe, but it’s like things clicked into place and a clearing was created after each session where I felt more light and free. I want other women to feel their divinity like I have, to learn that saying NO is amazing too. That we are not here to please no one. That respecting ourselves is key for our happiness and that we deserve Awakened men that are available to evolve and invest in their self awareness journey too. I recommend Brian all the time for women and for men as well. He brings light to the table that helps you become more conscious." - Natalie
"Coming out of a 19 year marriage with 3 kids that completely lacked boundaries, full of fighting and acting out childhood wounds, I came to Brian. I realized I didn’t learn the skills I needed to have a healthy relationship growing up, so I wanted to learn them for my benefit and also to teach my kids at a young age. With Brian’s help I was able to see how me blaming my partner was actually me avoiding responsibility for owning my needs and boundaries! Whoa… Definitely hard work, exhausting at times, but worth it. I have uncovered so much of my unconsciousness. And I feel lighter or like a burden has been lifted. Omg how eye opening learning nonviolent communication was! I am having such relief or feeling exhilarated when I examine needs on both sides and set agreements and boundaries based on those needs. NEEDS....identifying these often helps me figure out my past/traumas/barriers I may have built up..... what a fucking relief. I am better able to set AND maintain my boundaries and have had much less upset/anger reactions as a result. My mood has definitely improved as well as my relationship with my partner and kids because we’re all learning to take more responsibility for our emotions and negotiating our needs together. If you are ready to make a change in your relationships and take a step towards growth, I definitely recommend taking a course by Brian or getting in touch with him for one-on-one sessions." - Nel
"For the first time, I felt I was given something that I didn’t even know that I needed. Now I see myself as a completely different person. I’m proud of myself that I could become who I am now with Brian’s help. Before I met him, I was struggling with patterns of behaviour; feeling angry, acting out, blaming everybody for everything that was happening in my life, playing the role of victim. Being in victim-mode felt really safe and I didn’t want to admit to that. When I really started looking at that and understood that I could change, I was empowered to give myself what I needed. It was very liberating. If you’re one of those people walking around the earth thinking, “There must be something more to life than this…” or you’re experiencing this unknown part of yourself and you’re struggling inside, call Brian Tohana! He made me feel safe to express what I wanted, what was bothering me and work through all of these doubts and insecurities. The gates that will open, it’s almost something I can’t describe. He’s like a perfect mirror. He won’t fix you, but you will fix yourself when you work with him. The journey was amazing. He allowed me to feel myself and find myself, to actually find my own truth. Brian’s presence is invaluable. If I could take him in my bag and carry him everywhere I would!" - Justin
"Talking with Brian about my relationship has not only improved my current relationship but also changed how I view men, talk to men and communicate with men as a whole. As a woman who has a very busy lifestyle, always go-go-go, a high achiever her entire life, who always wants to be the best and look the best, I was given an opportunity to resolve some of the traumas and emotional blockages that were holding me back from achieving my goals. Brian is good at meeting you wherever you are, whether you’re that strong independent woman like me or you’re a little bit more reserved and timid and not quite sure, he’s going to notice that and meet you where you are. Brian is not your typical man. He is able to come with a compassionate genuine heart and match you emotionally and not judge you in any way. He’s what I’d call a new man, the new-age man where he is connected with his feelings and thoughts and emotions and he’s not afraid to express them however they show up. So I think you, as a woman, being able to connect with a man like that is so healing on so many different levels. For yourself, for your partner and for any other interaction that you’re going to have with a male if that’s an issue for you. I believe his service is an elite service and it is something that should be looked at as an investment in yourself. You are investing time so you can heal and you can move past things. What value do you put on that? What value do you put on healing from all the things that are holding you back from reaching your true potential? It could be what you need in order to reach that next level that you’ve been trying to reach for so long by yourself." - Jasmine
Start with Step 1
Let's Connect
Finding the right fit is important. The trust and safety we cultivate within our relationship are what allow you to go deep.
A consult is a no sales, no pressure, casual video call for us to get to know each other and connect. If we vibe, we can talk about what it would be like to work together.
